This Week...

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by Tom Adkins
11/01/03

ELECTIONS

Democrats are in deep dookey. Just like Republicans predicted, the tax cuts are kick-starting the economy. The economy is kicking butt. The Bush policy is reversing the Greenspan recession and nobody will care about the deficit if unemployment drops to 5%. And now, Liberals have marginalized themselves with their left-of Pluto policy stances. And George Bush’s brilliant diplomacy maneuvered the pouting United Nations naysayers into getting involved in Iraq’s reconstruction- with the USA in charge. And the Iraqi army is the second largest peacekeeping force in Iraq, Without those issues, Clark, Lieberman, Dean and all the Democrats will be relegated to criticizing George Bush’s choice of ties at his 2005 January inauguration.

HALLOWEEN

A smartass teenager came to my house with a bunch of his friends. He was dressed like a clown, and he said “See if you can guess who I am…I have big oil in my hip pocket and I have the religious right in my back pocket (he pulled out a crucifix). Can you guess who I am?”

I responded “Sure, kid…You’re a jackass.”

RUNAWAY IMAGINATION Part 1

Saw "Runaway Jury" this week. It’s billed as a story about people who are trying to manipulate a jury for millions of dollars. Actually, it’s a blatant anti-Second Amendment movie from beginning to end. In fact, nowhere in any movie trailer, their official website, interviews or anything will you see anything remotely talking about guns. Nowhere.

As for me, if a crackhead comes through my front door, I’ll trust my 6 shot, pump action Winchester Marine Defender, loaded with slugs. I’m guessing Dustin Hoffman, Gene Hackman and John Cusack won’t be there to help. Although I’ll invite them to clean up the mess.

RUNAWAY IMAGINATION Part 2

"Runaway Jury" portrays a bad gun company as nasty, uncaring jury riggers, who hire a heartless jury “consultant” (Gene Hackman) who breaks virtually every law imaginable to select a favorable jury. He’s got a “nerve center” equipped with more high-tech stuff than NASA, NORAD and Shaquille O’Neil’s party crib combined, staffed by young techno geeks who instantaneously dig up dirt on possible jury members by hacking into every database in world history, then surreptitiously communicate via radio and video with the gun company’s ruthless attorneys as they presumably to screen out the jurors who might give them an unfavorable ruling. And when the jurors start leaning the wrong way? Rumors fly, dirt is exposed…they even ransack juror’s apartments, steal their computers and commit arson.

Did you get all that?

While I’m watching this, I’m developing a respect for Democrats.

Certainly not because they are right on any issue over the last 100 years. And not just because they have the nads to dream up this crock and turn it into a liberal propaganda movie. No…I respect Democrats because they actually do all this nasty stuff. Democrats routinely use intimidation, bribery, blackmail, and break almost every law imaginable for political victory.

And Republicans don’t.

Democrats steal FBI files, create a massive “enemies” database and then attack Republicans when needed (remember Helen Chenowith?) Democrats use the FBI to ruin your life if you get in the way (Remember Travelgate?) Democrats kill your cat, slash your ties and threaten your life. (Remember Kathleen Willey?) Democrats use government agencies to kill people who get in their way (Remember the Branch Davidians?) And of course, Democrats mobilize the entire national media to cover their stealing, raping, murdering, treason and anything else they need to gain or keep power.

And you know what Republicans do? Nothing.

Republicans can’t even smack down a few cranky Senators who block judicial appointments. Democrats merely say the word "filibuster” and Republicans run screaming into each other’s arms, afraid of the boogieman.

I love my party. I love my philosophy, but we are run by a bunch of wussies.

ECONOMY

7.2%.

Say it loud, say it proud. SEVEN POINT TWO PERCENT. Sweet. See what happens when you cut taxes? Good things happen. Like growth. Like revenue. Like success. And the Democrats want to raise taxes and spend more money on stupid programs that don’t work. I have to admit a sadistic pleasure watching Nancy Pelosi whining, “Where are the jobs, Mr. President?” Well, Nancy…call me back about this time next year, when your bizarre party is getting smoked in the next election.

REPORTING

We just had the greatest economic quarter in two decades, with virtually every positive indicator pumping, with virtually no government or military spending changes…and the New York Times just can’t admit it. They tried to credit this amazing growth to (drum roll, please): rebates. CNN’s Candy Crowley decided to interview a bunch of kids hanging out in New York City, who obviously echoed their professors Maoist blather. Even Lou Dobbs is pimping himself out, whining about jobs. They can’t admit they are wrong. And they never will.

You never heard this when Bill Clinton was nursing along 1.3% growth in his first two years.

UPPITY

Remember back in the 50s and 60s, when Republicans routed the racist congressional Democrats, and gave black Americans their civil rights, guaranteed by the federal government? Defeated, those racist Democrats resorted to vicious personal attacks, name calling and slurs designed to keep black people down. When a black man dared to exercise his rights, such as refusing to be treated like trash, or speaking up when racists tried to hurt them, the racist Democrat term was “uppity.”

Today’s Democrats haven’t changed. Black people like Clarence Thomas, Thomas Sowell, Miguel Estrada and such who dare to leave the liberal plantation are attacked viciously by racist Democrats. Most recent? Justice Janice Rogers Brown dared to stand up and speak her mind. Listen to this nugget…"Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates, and our ability to control our destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege, war in the streets, unapologetic expropriation of property, the precipitous decline of the rule of law, the rapid rise of corruption, the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit." For that, Democrats went crazy, labeling her “extreme,” and “out of touch.”

The names have changed. They don’t wear white sheets and weird pointy hats anymore, but the racist Democrats haven’t changed. The message is clear: Who do you think you are, trying to leave the plantation? Don’t you dare get “uppity!!!”