‘Til Truth Do Us Part

A country singer and a movie star walk into a courtroom...

Like most Americans, I was shocked and saddened to view the news reports of the worst disaster in this nation’s history. Of course, I’m referring to the breakup of Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney.

As you know, on September 14th, actress Renee Zellweger filed for an annulment of her four-month marriage to country singer husband. Like you, I was absolutely shocked that a celebrity marriage had failed, since they usually work so well. However, I was even more shocked that Zellweger was attempting to go the annulment route. After all, while divorces are about as common as, say weddings, annulments are hard to come by. While the end result is typically the same, an annulment is quite different from a divorce.

A divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. On the other hand, an annulment is a legal determination that a valid marriage never took place in the first place. As a result, neither party is entitled to receive alimony, continuing spousal support, or their own reality show on Bravo. To prevent every disgruntled married couple from trying to obtain a marital mulligan, the law makes it very difficult to obtain an annulment. In California, you can obtain an annulment if, for example, you can prove that you were too drunk, stoned, or stupid to know better. Of course, as a celebrity, Zellweger probably could have chosen any of the above.

However, she chose an alternative out – the fraudulent marriage exception. In California, if you were duped into marrying the other person by fraudulent means, you can have your marriage annulled. Unfortunately, neither Zellweger nor her publicists are saying exactly how she was duped. Yet, as a lawyer, I must warn them that it better be good. Run-of-the-mill pre-marriage fraud is not enough to qualify for an annulment. The law recognizes that lies are as much a part of courtship as flowers, candy, and not shouting another lover’s name during sex. The sad truth is that almost everyone lies to their future spouse. In fact, we
have a special term for the people who don’t lie – “lonely.”

Let’s face it. No one gets what they expected out of marriage. For instance, many women expected to marry a sensitive and caring man who would serve them candlelight dinners and take them for nightly walks on the beach (despite the fact that they live 200 miles from the nearest body of water). They were sadly disappointed when they got a husband whose idea of romance was agreeing to take his shoes off during sex (but keeping his pants on).

Likewise, most men expected to marry a woman who would stay within, say, 100 pounds of her pre-marital weight. They may have even also expected a hot meal or two between sightings of Haley’s Comet. As it turns out, they would be more realistic to expect a visit from Santa Claus every December. And as it turns out, it certainly would be cheaper to feed his eight reindeer.

Seriously, the law simply can’t allow everyone who feels cheated (i.e., everyone who is married) to get a marital “do over.” Nor can the law allow a special exemption for Ms. Zellweger simply because she’s a celebrity. She may be rich and famous, but she has made her bed, and like the rest of us, she must tell lies in it.

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Sean Carter is a lawyer, comedian, public speaker and the author of
If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit? – Your Humorous Guide to the Law.
The book is not available in stores but may be purchased at Amazon.com or by clicking here.

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