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Geragos Should Just "Beat It"An "Off the Wall" challengeby Sean Carter As a humor columnist, there are some media personalities who are simply too easy to write about. Using the power of the pen against these dimwits would be like boxing against a blind, one-legged dwarf – while it might be strangely satisfying, it would be an affront to common standards of decency. Until recently, this was my position with respect to The King of Lollipops, Michael Jackson. Besides, his booking photo says more about him than I could say in 20 columns. After all, this is a man who wore eyeliner to jail. How vain can you be? Therefore, I decided to sit this one out and let the other humor columnists have their way with Jackson. However, that all changed on November 25th when Jackson’s attorney, Mark Geragos, issued the following challenge. “Michael Jackson is not going to be abused. Michael Jackson is not going to be slammed, is not going to be a piñata for every person who has financial motives. We will land on you like a ton of bricks. We will land on you like a hammer if you do anything to besmirch this man’s reputation…. We will unleash a legal torrent like you have never seen.” Now, I understand that Geragos has a responsibility to zealously represent his client but in this statement, he went too far. When did any public figure become immune from scrutiny? Even, in the absence of the most recent child molestation charges, Michael Jackson’s reputation was already besmirched. Public opinion about the superstar had already receded further than Geragos’s hair line. Now, I will admit that perhaps this is unfair. Just because a man dangles his baby over a balcony, it doesn’t make him a bad father. Also, just because a man undergoes so much plastic surgery that it’s no longer possibly to determine his race (or even sex), it doesn’t make him weird. And, of course, just because a 45-year-old man likes to sleep in the same bed with young boys to whom he is not related, it doesn’t make him a pedophile. On the other hand, perhaps Mr. Geragos should be more understanding with us who don’t quite understand these actions. Rather than “land on us like a ton of bricks,” perhaps he would like to explain why the father of three children needs to recruit young boys to have sleepovers with him. I, for one, just don’t get it. I’m the father of two young boys and it has never occurred to me to invite another boy to the house to sleep in my bed. I don’t even let my own kids sleep in my bed. In fact, whenever possible, I pawn them off on Grandma, Grandpa, and even complete strangers to keep them from sleeping in my house. Also, rather than “unleashing a legal torrent” against those of us who are unenlightened, perhaps Geragos can explain to us why his client could put himself in this position AGAIN. Didn’t he face similar allegations just a decade ago? Didn’t he already have to pay someone off to settle charges of child molestation? Now, perhaps I’m just not as kind-hearted as Michael Jackson but if I had been “unjustly” accused the first time, my days of kiddy slumber parties would be over. In fact, I would have renamed my ranch to “Never, Never Have Another Damn Kid Here Again Land.” All of that being said, I’m not saying Michael Jackson is guilty of child molestation. However, Geragos is guilty. He’s guilty of being a bully. He is trying to stifle negative public comments about his client by threatening lawsuits against people who “slam” Jackson. However, Geragos’s tactics have had just the opposite effect on me. As a lawyer, I am not so easily intimated And while I certainly don’t enjoy Geragos’s distinguished reputation for having his clients found guilty on all counts (i.e., the Winona Ryder verdict), I do know a thing or two about the law. For one, the First Amendment protects my right to comment on matters of public record. Second, Michael Jackson has about as much chance of collecting on a judgment against me as he has of being named as “shot caller” on the prison cell block. Therefore, Mr. Geragos, perhaps you should spend more of your time defending your clients in court and less time trying to sue their detractors in the media. Perhaps, that way, Michael Jackson will be acquitted on one or more counts. Besides, don’t you still have to defend Scott Peterson in his double murder trial? Remember him? ________________________________ Sean is a practicing attorney who writes a weekly humor column on current legal events called "Lawpsided." Lawpsided pieces appear in a growing number of general circulation papers across the country, including The Los Angeles Times. Moreover, his musings on the law appear on nationally recognized websites, such as jewishworldreview.com, findlaw.com, newsmax.com and etherzone.com, and legal publications, such as The National Law Journal and The Los Angeles Daily Journal. Lastly, he is a regular contributor to national magazines like Razor and Tirade. If you would be interested in publishing this piece or seeing other samples of his work, please feel free to contact him by e-mail, by phone at (626) 786-2095, or through his website at: |