
Shy Bladder Equals Bold PlaintiffMr. Smith "goes" to court...by Sean Carter As the economy begins to turn around, some economics are wondering why job growth still lags behind productivity. I think I know the answer. Its not that employers cant afford to hire new workers; its simply that they are scared to hire new workers. After all, hiring a new employee can be as risky as starring in an adult movie in California; only far less exciting. The sad truth is that employees are prone to sue the hand that pays them. And our wacky employment laws actually encourage these lawsuits. Take, for instance, the case filed in Georgia last week against Caterpillar, the industrial equipment maker. Last November, Tom Smith, a 44-year-old Caterpillar employee, was asked to provide a urine sample as part of the companys random drug testing policy. However, Smith was unable to urinate within the three-hour period allowed by the company and was subsequently fired. In response, Smith filed a lawsuit against Caterpillar. He claims that his inability to urinate is the result of paruresis, more commonly known as shy bladder syndrome. In short, Smith claims that hes simply too shy to go in public. As a result of this shyness, Caterpillars termination of his employment was in violation of you guessed it the Americans with Disability Act. In support of Smiths claim, the American Psychiatric Association does recognize paruresis as a social phobia. However, this isnt saying much. The APA is extremely liberal in its recognition of all types of disorders. I wouldnt be surprised if the APA also recognizes cooties as a social phobia. According to the International Paruresis Associations website, about seven percent (7%) of the public, or 17 million people, may suffer from this social anxiety disorder. Sadly, none of these people ever seem to go to professional sporting events. If they did, then perhaps the lines to the restroom wouldnt be so long at the Lakers games. However, assuming that this is a real disorder, the larger question is should Caterpillar be liable for wrongful termination? Sadly, the answer to this question is likely yes. Under the ADA, employers must make reasonable accommodations for their disabled employees. Smith argues that a reasonable accommodation would have been for Caterpillar to test him using a hair or blood sample. And given the courts usual legal analysis of these cases, Smith has a strong case. For Caterpillar to be able to justify not using hair and blood samples, it must prove that doing so would create an undue hardship for the company. For a company that had revenues of $6.5 billion in the first quarter alone, this is going to be harder than my wifes pancakes. As you can see, the ADA places large employers at a disadvantage. So long as the employee can claim a syndrome of some sort, hes in luck. While this may be good news to the person with a shy bladder, fickle arteries, or obstinate scalp, its bad news for the millions of Americans who are still out of work. After all, given our current legal climate, the employer looking to hire new lawsuits (oops, I mean employees) must be on drugs herself.
________________________________ Sean is a practicing attorney who writes a weekly humor column on current legal events called "Lawpsided." Lawpsided pieces appear in a growing number of general circulation papers across the country, including The Los Angeles Times. Moreover, his musings on the law appear on nationally recognized websites, such as jewishworldreview.com, findlaw.com, newsmax.com and etherzone.com, and legal publications, such as The National Law Journal and The Los Angeles Daily Journal. Lastly, he is a regular contributor to national magazines like Razor and Tirade. If you would be interested in publishing this piece or seeing other samples of his work, please feel free to contact him by e-mail, by phone at (626) 786-2095, or through his website at:
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