Uncivil Disobedience

A crappy way to rebel

by Sean Carter
10/16/04

Recently, I was surprised to be pulled over by the police. Apparently, my new home state of Arizona has some ridiculous law requiring its new residents to register their cars with the state and not simply drive around indefinitely with expired California tags. Yes, I thought it was ridiculous too.

And I was ready to tell the officer so when I remembered that I’m black. Therefore, not wanting to compound my citation with a nightstick to the head, I decided to leave bad enough alone. As the old saying goes, “He who shuts up and drives away, lives to register his car another day.”

Unfortunately for police officers and court personnel across the country, every motorist isn’t as sensible (or good looking) as I am. Take, for instance, Iowa psychiatrist Ronald Preston McPike, who is accused of paying a July parking ticket with dollar bills smeared in feces.

Apparently, just throwing the money across the counter and yelling, “Take your stinking money,” like the rest of us wasn’t good enough for McPike. No, he had to make a real statement. And that statement was “I need serious psychological intervention!”

Interestingly, perhaps even crazier than the act itself was McPike’s explanation of it. When questioned by the police, he said that the money accidentally fell into the toilet and he decided to use it anyway. According to police, Dr. Doo-doo-little asked, “What do you expect me to do, throw away good money?”

YES! That’s exactly what we expect you to do. And you would think that someone with a doctorate wouldn’t have to be hit with criminal charges to learn that lesson.

Sadly, Dr. McPoop isn’t the only citizen with anger management issues. How else could you explain the man standing trial in Connecticut last month who mooned the judge? Apparently, the defendant wasn’t very pleased when the judge insisted on being addressed as “sir.” Therefore, in another act of uncivil disobedience, the defendant replied ... you're going to love this ... “Sir? Kiss my #$%, sir!” Then, so as there would be no confusion as to his meaning, the defendant dropped his pants and showed the judge just where he'd like to be kissed.

While I have to admit that I find this incredibly funny and would have paid to see it on pay-per-view, this wasn’t a smart move. And perhaps, even the defendant realizes it now that he’ll have to serve an extra year in jail due to his ill-advised pantomime.

Therefore, the next time you get upset over a traffic (or parole) violation and consider doing something even more stupid than what got you in trouble in the first place, stop it! Otherwise, you could end up like these two un-gentlemen who wrote checks that their butts couldn’t cash. Besides, as the old saying goes, “If you can’t pay the cost, then don’t drive like Diana Ross.”

Now, if you will excuse, I have a big decision to make. I just dropped my quarterly tax return in the toilet and I’m having a hard time deciding whether to print another out or not. After all, what do you want me to do, waste good copy paper?

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Sean is a practicing attorney who writes a weekly humor column on current legal events called "Lawpsided." Lawpsided pieces appear in a growing number of general circulation papers across the country, including The Los Angeles Times. Moreover, his musings on the law appear on nationally recognized websites, such as jewishworldreview.com, findlaw.com, newsmax.com and etherzone.com, and legal publications, such as The National Law Journal and The Los Angeles Daily Journal. Lastly, he is a regular contributor to national magazines like Razor and Tirade. If you would be interested in publishing this piece or seeing other samples of his work, please feel free to contact him by e-mail, by phone at (626) 786-2095, or through his website at:

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