Sympathy for the She-Devil?

A compassionate conservative column

The recent stories about Hillary Clinton’s campaign spending money like a lonely male Lotto winner at a strip club have given us a new look at the woman who would be President. We already suspected that she wasn’t ready to run the country, but the ways she’s spent campaign cash have pretty much solidified it. Seriously, $1300 for Dunkin’ Donuts? That’s what Michael Moore spends for his pre-pre-pre-post-pre-post-post-pre-post-post-pre-post-pre-mid-morning brunch, for the love of Pete!

Yet, I can’t help but feel sorry for Hillary at this point. You read that right, folks. I feel sorry for Hillary Clinton. And, surprisingly, the straitjacket is very comfortable. And the men in the nice white coats bring me all sorts of wonderful drugs!

Seriously, I’m wincing as each new story about Hillary and her campaign comes out because it’s becoming clear that her campaign is the worst one a Democratic candidate has ever run without hiring Bob Shrum. Overspending, bad post-Super Tuesday strategy, awkward lines about “35 years of experience” and “change you can Xerox,” and Bill’s ill-advised and ham-handed forays into racial politics notwithstanding, Hillary seems to have counted on being granted the Democratic nomination by virtue of…well, being Hillary.

Part of this expectation stems from the fact Hillary has never had to run a campaign in a competitive race until now. In 2000, her chief competition, Rudy Giuliani, dropped out due to cancer, leaving Rick Lazio to pick up the pieces, but not the Senate seat. Then in 2006, the Republican who ran against Hillary had less of a chance than John McCain does of being caught in a sex scandal. Okay, bad example, but Hillary has been pretty much untouchable in her Senate races. Now, with Barack Obama making waves like Michael Moore doing a cannonball into the ocean, Hillary’s finding out the hard way that she’s not nearly as untouchable as she has been.

Perpetuating this problem has been the people Hillary’s campaign has been hiring. Get this. Democratic media consultant Mark Penn has already received $3.8 million from the Clinton campaign…and is owed even more. And when you consider over the stretch of the past 11 caucuses and primaries as of the date of this writing that I’ve tied Hillary without spending a dime, we can see how well that money’s been spent. Combine with this the legion of yes-men surrounding Hillary, but not really offering sound advice, and you have a candidate dangerously disconnected with the American people and reality. And when you consider the Democrats ran Al Gore and John Kerry, that’s saying something.

At this point, it looks like there are more people looking to make as much money off the Hillary campaign while it’s still viable than there are people willing to help it success. And, yes, that includes Bill. For 8 years, Bill was the center of the political universe as President, and he’s never let that go. So, when Hillary started her campaign, it was his chance to get out in front of the people and press the flesh. And he was meeting people, too! Seriously, though, Bill was brought on to try to rekindle the Clinton magic and have it rub off on Hillary. (Is it just me, or does just about every phrase imaginable turn into a sexual innuendo when you talk about Bill Clinton?) As it turns out, even Bill had ulterior motives when stumping for his wife, namely to get himself back in front of people who love him. And to score with women, and not in the political sense, if you know what I mean.

This is why I feel sorry for Hillary. In spite of everything she’s pulled, lied about, lashed out at, and hid from, she’s still human. Or at least, I think she’s human. I mean, I haven’t done DNA testing on her to be certain, but I’m making a reasonable guess here.

In Greek tragedies, the protagonists always had a fatal flaw that would eventually come back to bite them in the back side. In this case, Hillary’s Achilles’ Heel was the fact that she made Howard Hughes look gregarious while on the campaign trail. We never really got to see the “real” her. Granted, that’s like wanting to see Pamela Anderson’s real breasts, but it’s still pretty important. Voters need to feel a connection to a candidate for them to truly get behind them. With some voting blocs, she had that connection, but not because of anything she did. Rather, it was because of identity politics or the prospect of getting Bill back in the White House to stick it to the Republicans. That sort of support proves to be a mile long, but only as deep as the memoirs of Hillary supporter and former porn actress Jenna Jameson.

But before you think I’ve gone completely soft here, I have to say that I don’t completely feel sorry for Hillary. The reason is that each and every one of these mistakes Hillary and her campaign have made is a choice. Hillary’s campaign is choosing to spend a million dollars a month on bad advice. The campaign chose to believe the nomination would be wrapped up by Super Tuesday. The campaign chose to spend all sorts of money to make Hillary look Presidential in the early states, which is leaving her short of money now. But instead of learning from the mistakes, she continues to make them. That’s the sign of someone not ready to be President.

Let me leave you with a final joke. What’s the difference between Hillary’s campaign and the Titanic? The music was better on the Titanic.

And that’s the Bottom Line.

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