How to Lose Friends and Influence No One

Putting the “offensive” in “charm offensive”

Say what you will about Barack Obama, but there are two things that are absolutely true about him. One, he has lousy tastes in running mates. And two, he’s charismatic. After seeing him deliver speeches in Germany and Invesco Field, there’s no doubt in my mind that people like him. He gives the hopeless hope. He gives the changeless change. (Just ask his Kenyan brother.) And he energizes young and old, white and black…sorry, white and community organizer, Democrat and Republican, liberal and conservative, Batman and Robin, and so on.

Yet, in the past few weeks, a different Obama has emerged. Sure, he’s still out there giving stump speeches that would make Bobcat Goldthwait look like Pat Paulsen, but there’s more of an edge to him and his campaign. Although some welcome this edge, it has angered more than a few people. Let’s take a look at some of Obama’s greatest “hits” from this election season.

- In a recent Obama ad, Republican challenger John McCain is called “out of touch” not only because he’s been an elected official since 1982, but because…get this…he doesn’t know how to email! Oh horrors! And furthermore, it’s rumored McCain doesn’t even have any BFFs on MySpace! Of course, the fact McCain doesn’t know how to email might be impacted by the fact that he sustained injuries while being a prisoner of war. Not to mention, there are a lot of people McCain’s age who can and do email. (Although I have to admit I get a little creeped out when I receive an email about increasing my bust size from someone with the handle NaughtyNursingHomeResident@oldfogey.com) So, not only did Obama’s ad mock POWs, but he mocked the elderly!

- In a now infamous speech, Obama talked about rural Pennsylvania and the Midwest in not-so-glowing terms. Here is the section that got so many people riled up:

So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

Was he giving this speech in Pennsylvania, where at the time he was locked in a primary fight with Hillary Clinton? Nope. Those harsh words condemning rural America were spoken at a fundraiser in…San Francisco. Yeah, that kind of stuff plays really well on the Left Coast where they consider anything to the east of Los Angeles to be uncivilized frontier, but to those of us who actually live or have lived in rural communities, it was insulting. And I said as much in an article for Anti-Immigrant and Trade Bible Gun-toters Quarterly.

- Obama has also had an occasion or two to insult women. For example, in one stump speech (which I hope he’s had the sense to change), he said he supported abortion because he didn’t want his daughters to be “punished with a baby” if they got pregnant before they were ready to raise children. Senator, let me explain something to you. I’m not a woman, although I’ve been known to pretend to be one to get out of speeding tickets, but I do know this. Babies are never punishment. Besides, if they were, the punishment occurs when the baby is 2, not when he or she is conceived. Your bizarre notion that a baby is some sort of punishment has already alienated a good chunk of the women who might actually consider voting for you. And if they’re pregnant when they vote, they’ll be voting for two. Fortunately for you, the movement feminists who think abortion is neato will still vote for you because of your firm stand on “women’s rights.” And I’m sure you’ll appreciate all 14 of their votes.

- Obama himself hasn’t said this outright, but many of his supporters in the media and in public have, so it counts as a “hit” in my book. Did you know that if you don’t vote for Barack Obama, you’re a racist? And if Obama doesn’t win, there will be a race war? If you did nothing but listen to columnists, commentators on cable news shows, and some Obama supporters, you’d know. I’ve already commented in a previous column about how this notion is dumber than letting Keith Olbermann host “The O’Reilly Factor” (or anything else, for that matter), but let me ask an important question. Does this notion apply to African-Americans who don’t vote for Obama? We’ve never gotten clarification on that, and I doubt we ever will because the Obama folks seem to think they’ll vote for Obama simply because of skin color. Granted, a lot will, but those who don’t are being called racist merely because of their choice not to vote for the worst Affirmative Action hire since Nancy Pelosi.

On top of it all, Obama recently also told his supporters to get in the faces of those who disagree with him and his policies. Apparently the Obama/Biden campaign slogan has changed from “Change You Can Believe In” to “Change You Can Believe In Or We’ll Break Your Kneecaps.” Getting in people’s personal space to challenge their beliefs is not the way to win the election, Senator. You may not know this, but politics is a popularity contest. In order to win the election, you have to make people like you, and from what I’ve seen, you’re just not working and playing well with the other children on the playground. If this continues, I’m afraid the American voters will make you stay after the election in a very boring place that isn’t any fun.

Like, say, the U. S. Senate.

And that’s the Bottom Line.

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