Lessons From Larry

What to learn from the Airport Mens’ Room Tango

I feel some days as if I am a witness to history.

Sitting at my desk at work, I can see the better part of the Minneapolis metropolitan area spread out before me. I can see downtown, and the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome and, just behind that, the site of the I-35W bridge collapse. I can also see the Minnesota River as it wanders north to meet the mighty Mississippi, all muddy and swollen from the rains that created devastating flooding across southern Minnesota. And there, right ahead of me, I can see the Lindbergh Terminal of the Minneapolis International Airport, scene of the latest disaster to befall the state.

It was in a men’s restroom there that Idaho Senator Larry Craig decided to play footsie with an undercover cop, and thence to commence a political and personal farce of tremendous proportions. Karl Marx famously said that “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.” Who would have thought that the history of political peccadilloes would descend this fast?

There are all sorts of lessons being learned by all sorts of people about this episode. Most of them, especially if tendered via the mainstream media, are spectacularly irrelevant. But there are a few – pardon the expression – touchpoints that we can take away from this affair.

First, an absolutely enduring principle for conservatives generally – and for Republicans by extension – should be “First, Do The Right Thing.” People who jump to making political calculations before understanding the nature of “The Right Thing” are fools running a fool’s errand. The right thing here is pretty clear. Highly respected representatives of the people ought not to solicit gay sex in public restrooms. When caught, the right thing to do is resign. The people of Idaho deserve better. Incidentally, that is not a judgmental slam on Senator Craig. High moral standards are difficult to uphold. That’s why they are high. I find it hard to be too tough on a man who tries and fails. But that is irrelevant to the point at hand. The right thing is to resign. Do it.

Second, much ridicule has been heaped on the Senator for his statement that “I am not gay, I have never been gay.” All the while having pleaded guilty to behavior that, well, seemed kind of gay. There is a distinct difference between homosexual behavior and “being gay.” “Gayness” is a cultural self-identifier. It signifies not only a penchant for same-sex sexual attraction and activity, but a relishing of that as a defining characteristic of oneself. Put simply, a man could easily have occasional sexual attraction to other men, while at the same time truly love his wife and be primarily interested in heterosexual activities. I suspect this is exactly what Senator Craig was saying. He may be confused, he may be mildly happy, but he’s not gay. I am willing to believe him. Incidentally, it is interesting that it is the Left that seems to have bought in to the black/white model of sexual relationships. For them any stray glance at another of the same sex makes you gay as an interior decorator.

Third, what could possibly be more degrading than anonymous public restroom sex? That must be part of its allure for selected people. It crosses my mind that I cannot imagine that lesbians engage in this sort of restroom rendezvous. Part of that is physical constraints, probably, but this does seem to truly be a specific homosexual male sexual behavior.

Lastly, the thing that always makes me nuts about situations like this is the fevered shouts of “hypocrisy!” from so many corners. As I have written in this space before, not only do I not consider hypocrisy to be the awful debate-closer that so many imagine it to be, I think it is a useful thing – a sign that we have a culture that tries and sometimes fails. Somewhere deep, deep, deep in the consciousness of the Left is hardwired a bizarre notion of authenticity that I just do not understand.

For the cultural Left, to behave abominably but speak consistently is morally superior to advocating for the good and falling short of it in your personal behavior. From this perspective Bill Clinton is morally superior to Larry Craig, and Larry Flynt is superior to Bill Clinton! I have never heard anyone offer a cogent explanation as to why this ought to be so. It is intuitive for me that exactly the opposite is true. Set standards high, and know that we will all fall short in some way shape or form. That’s what I say. To the degree that Senator Craig helped to coax us towards higher standards, good for him! Those things are right or wrong on their own merits and have nothing to do with his personal shortcomings.

And that’s the report from the disaster-prone Northland. I think I’ll just kick back and stare out the window at this beautiful day. Hmmm. Look, there’s the VA Center. I’m sure that’s one place where no disaster lurks….

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