A Fashion Fad That Needs to
End
Fake thuggery vs. real toughness
When I was in my early teens I wanted a motorcycle
jacket in the worst way. A lot of guys had them and I wanted to
look cool. Unfortunately (or so I thought at the time), all of
my "want" ran up against my dad.
"Where's your motorcycle?"
"What?"
"I said, 'Where's your motorcycle?' A leather jacket isn't
going to make you anything you aren't."
It took me a long time to understand his point, but things got
a little clearer when, several years later, I came across a quote
that went something like this:
"I see by your clothes, you're a sailor. I'll get me some
clothes and I can be a sailor too."
What brings all of this up was something I saw while driving home
the other night. There was this young kid at a bus stop dancing
to whatever noise was entering his skull via his earphones. "Dancing,"
in this instance, mostly involved strutting around while throwing
hand signs around like the universe actually cared what they meant.
I should add that this kid's hooded coat was about four sizes
too large and was being worn over a t-shirt that fell below his
knees. There, his bunched-up pants were piled atop oversize shoes
that were minus laces.
Unfortunately, I think that the "thug" style of dress
still has a ways to run before we're rid of it, but it's already
reached the point of such utter ridiculousness that perhaps -
and this is a big perhaps - even the "wannabes" may
soon realize that they look like nothing more than a bunch of
doofuses. My guess is that this kid was trying for the "I'm
tough" look popularized by those who wear this getup, but
what his outfit mostly did was start me thinking.
What I was thinking was that, somewhere along the line, we (adults)
missed the chance to say: "So you think that wearing clothes
that make you look like insolent, foul-mouthed brutes are going
to paint you as being tough? Hate to break the news but, as for
being truly tough, it's a case of not having the motorcycle to
go with the jacket."
Somewhere along the line, we missed the chance
to them what tough really is. We missed the chance to tell them
that "tough" is recognizing when you're hanging out
with a bunch of losers and deciding to walk away before you end
up in a situation that has nothing but "bad" written
all over it.
Tough is having the guts to admit that willfully choosing to be
pig ignorant most likely isn't the path to a bright future.
Tough is deciding, despite the scorn of your "peers,"
to work your way up the behavior scale rather than trying to see
just how low you can sink.
Tough is learning how to earn and keep the respect of others.
Tough is continuing to try even in the face of failure rather
than quitting to spend your time on some corner bitching and moaning
about how bad everything is.
Tough is taking responsibility for and accepting the consequences
of your actions.
Tough is avoiding fights but, when pushed into one, becoming someone
truly not to be messed with.
Here's something else we should have mentioned: Tough doesn't
always show through. Tough is often hidden in unlikely places.
The toughest guy I ever knew stood about 5' 6" tall and weighed
in on the near side of 155 pounds. If you ever pushed his magic
button, though, the world as you knew it was about to change dramatically.
If they need a picture, we could tell them that
real toughness is like a rock hidden under about an inch of dirt.
You don't know it's there until you run your shovel into that
dirt and get stopped cold by an unyielding piece of stone.
After seeing that kid the other night, though, I think we still
haven't gotten through with the message and, in fact, I worry
that we may not even be trying to send it. Still, I'm hoping that
this latest fashion fad has about run its course. It's gone on
for too long and I know I'm not alone in my thinking that looking
like some brutish clown isn't having the desired effect on many
of us any more - if it ever did.
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